


a new expectation

by thunderstorm (ConsultingTimelordWizard)



Series: Shiaros Fics [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, F/M, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-OT3, Pre-Relationship, Shep is a wreck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 19:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12778158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsultingTimelordWizard/pseuds/thunderstorm
Summary: Shepard loved Liara. Shepard also loved Thane. Shepard has to talk to Liara about this... if she'll even let her.





	a new expectation

**Author's Note:**

> I'm tagging this with Thane/Shep because it's implied, but Thane himself doesn't actually make an appearance. That being said, enjoy some Shiara fluff!

LIara was mad at her.

It was obvious from the moment their brief bout of shore leave ended on the Citadel, the Normandy restocked before they were to head to Tuchanka. The first time they’d been on the Citadel, Ashley had been rushed to Huerta Memorial and the Council had been, well, the Council. No amount of hard evidence would convince them to actually do something about the Reapers--not even an attack on planets both in and out of Council space. In her rush to see how Ashley was, Shepard had completely looked over Thane looking out the window, her focus zeroed in on her possibly dying friend. The second time they went to the Citadel, Shepard had seen the drell right away and stopped in her tracks. She’d gotten his email, but seeing him with her own eyes brought her back six months to the hours before attacking the Collector Base. 

He was dying, Shepard knew that. It shouldn’t have hurt to see him confined to the hospital after knowing his condition was worsening, but it did, and she was quick to shift her direction toward Thane rather than the doors leading to Ashley. He was at peace, it was obvious in his posture and the tone of his voice, but it was still surreal talking about his impending death like it was no big deal.

Shepard had forgotten that drell saliva made her hallucinate a bit. She didn’t mind finding out again and again.

Having the Shadow Broker as her girlfriend wasn’t exactly helpful when reconnecting with her boyfriend, Shepard found out hours later.  _ I know you went back to Thane _ , Liara had said without turning to make eye contact with her.  _ I have no interest in playing games _ .

It wasn’t a game, though, at least not to Shepard. All her life, she’d fallen for people easily, though it was hard to actually let herself get into serious relationships.The few times she’d tried, both parties had gotten angry at her for even considering a polyamorous relationship and split off from her without a second look back (she was pretty positive two of them had eventually gotten married last she checked). Shepard loved Liara, had loved her since they had gone after Saren three years prior. Liara brought out her softer side and made her more compassionate when otherwise Shepard was impulsive and, admittedly, violent. Liara was the calming force to Shepard’s fire, even if she did occasionally encourage her actions. 

Where Liara was a calming force, Thane was therapeutic. His voice, gravelly and deep,  eased the tension from Shepard’s shoulders, and their talks on the Normandy had always calmed Shepard down when a mission went awry. He never flinched when her anger was misdirected his way, simply sitting at his desk in Life Support with his hands together and listening to her. She never felt like she had to put on a facade for Thane, whereas even with Liara she felt she had to at times. Thane was her rock, and Liara her air; she couldn’t live without either of them.

She snorted quietly and ignored the looks her crew gave her, heading toward Liara’s room. Thane would think that was poetic. Liara, not so much. At least, she didn’t think so.

The lock was green, which was a relief, yet Shepard knocked on the door anyway. She didn’t particularly want to deal with a pissed off Shadow Broker--Reapers and Collectors looked like child’s play in comparison. “Liara? It’s Jill. Can I come in?”

The moments passed at a snail’s pace, and Shepard was about to knock again when the door opened and revealed Liara’s stern face. Behind her, Glyph was floating about the cabin doing something Shepard couldn’t quite make out, but she was quick to turn her focus back to the asari in question. Her arms were crossed almost protectively in front of her chest, her jaw was set, and her eyes had a fire that made even Shepard a little nervous. She had no idea how this was going to go down, and in a game of emotions instead of war it was a scary thought. “Shepard. I told you I’d talk when I was ready.”

“Liara, it’s been weeks. Just… please let me come in and talk to you. Explain myself, I guess. Something.”

Liara’s eyes flickered past Shepard’s scarred face to the crowded mess hall, then back to her face and looking over the scars. Shepard fought to keep herself from reacting; Chakwas had said they got worse with added stress, but she had a fiery temperament that didn’t always allow her to think of a more compassionate approach while events were in the process of happening. She could have sworn she saw the cybernetics glowing in the irises of her eyes earlier in the morning, and it unnerved her. Seeing Liara staring at them only served to make it worse.

“Alright. Come in and sit.”

Shepard’s shoulders sagged, and she waited until Liara turned back into her room before following and closing the door. Liara looked back and sighed quietly, turning toward her bouncing drone. “Glyph, lock the door. We don’t need to be interrupted at the moment.”

“At once, Doctor T’Soni.” Glyph bobbed past Shepard with a cheery, “Greetings Commander,” and Shepard chewed the inside of her cheek. No matter how tense a situation was, the drone was always cheerful. It eased her nerves a little, and she sat herself down in the chair by Liara’s bed. Liara perched on her bed and let out a quiet sigh, hands folding together. “Alright, Shepard. What did you want to talk about?”

The nerves returned. Shepard thought back to those she tried to have a relationship years ago, how they left her for each other. They never tried to understand, and while Shepard didn’t necessarily fault them, it still stung. She closed her eyes and hoped beyond hope that Liara wouldn’t end up like those people.  _ Please understand _ . “I, um. I love people. A lot.” She could imagine Liara raising her eyebrow, and Shepard bowed her head. “I fall for people a lot, Liara. I… I love you, you know that. I also love Thane. You both make me feel sane when I should be past sanity at this point, and I’m not sure where I’d be without either of you.”

“That’s… very nice, but doesn’t really help your case, Shepard.”

Shepard huffed and shook her head. “No, I guess not.” She paused. “You know how asari are monogender? The same thing goes for romantic relationships. Monogamy. Obviously you know that.” Shepard let out a humorless laugh and risked a glance back at Liara. She couldn’t read her expression, and Shepard wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. “I’m different, I guess. I looked it up years ago, before I became an N7. It’s called polyamory? Which, um, I guess is sort of like an open relationship? No, that’s not right. I just… I want more than one relationship, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less, nor does it mean I love Thane any less. I should have talked to you about this earlier. I’m sorry.”

Liara was quiet too long for comfort, and Shepard shifted uncomfortably. This was where they would break up, wasn’t it? She’d mentioned it to Thane back after the Collector Base, and he’d understood better than she’d thought. Why hadn’t she thought to talk to Liara until now? “I see.”

“You see?”

“I’ve heard of this before. A few asari participate in this sort of thing.” Liara got off the bed and moved in front of Shepard, kneeling down so she could meet her eyes. “You should have told me.”

“I wanted to, Liara, I did. Every relationship I had before ended badly, though, when I brought it up. You can imagine the slut shaming.” She blinked hard to fight the tears. “I didn’t want that to happen here either. I thought we’d be monogamous, and I was alright with that, but I didn’t expect Thane. It just happened. I’m sorry.”

Liara shook her head and took both of Shepard’s hands in her own. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s who you are, Jill. I just wish you’d told me earlier.” She sighed and looked down at Shepard’s hands, fingers gentle as she played with her own. “I’m still hurt, Jill. I’d been under the impression that we were… just for one another. You didn’t get both of our consent, so you cheated. That being said, I’m willing to talk about it.”

Shepard’s head snapped up, and she looked at Liara with wide eyes. “Wait, seriously?” She couldn’t believe her luck. Liara was willing to understand?

“Yes, seriously. I need a little more time, but maybe within the next day or two we can call up Thane to talk through it more.”

“I’d like that a lot, Liara. I… thank you.” Shepard look a deep breath and leaned down to rest her forehead against Liara’s. She felt the asari tense for a moment, but before she could pull away and apologize the tension faded and Liara squeezed her hands gently. Shepard smiled slightly and brought her knuckles to her lips, shoulders falling lax. “I honestly didn’t expect this outcome,” Shepard whispered.

“And why’s that?”

“It never went this way before. I just expected the worse.”

Liara shook her head and brushed her hand over Shepard’s buzzed hair, the feeling bringing a wider smile to Shepard’s lips. “Well, I don’t believe you’ve had a relationship with an asari or a drell before. Let the two of us bring a new expectation to you.”

“Alright. I think I can manage that.”


End file.
